Thursday, March 25, 2010

Overwhelmed

I've been feeling incredibly overwhelmed lately. Just keeping up the house... the kids.... finances.... life in general. Can't breathe. Can't sleep. Cry. Seems everything is up to me and I'm tired. The work seems never ending and it's exhausting. I really need some ME time.

Clint was overseas for two very long weeks. I hate, hate being by myself. He just got home, and will be leaving once again in a few days. Not much of a break for Mommy. He'll be away three weeks to a month, or longer this time. People say just go with him! Make it an adventure! Um... sure, I can drop everything and buy three ($1200) plane tickets to Scotland. And pull Valerie out of school and both girls out of dancing (that is paid for), camp out in a one room hotel (because that is what the company pays for) indefinitely with a 5 year old and a 3 year old while Clint works 12 hour days. And sure, we can afford to eat at restaurants 3 times a day. Ummm yeah, let's be realistic. No thank you. I'll stay here and sleep in my comfy bed and eat cereal for supper if I have to.


There is more drama with the house we had torn down. Basically Lafourche parish is screwing us over big time. After tearing down the house, we were told it was all good. Not long ago, Clint got a call that said the grass needed to be cut. Well, the parish ended up sending a contractor to cut the grass and they hauled off a stack of boards that was left from the house debris. And sent us a bill for $2,600. FOR CUTTING THE GRASS?? They claim it was decided the clean up wasn't 'good enough' after all so they finished it. WTF?? We had an ENTIRE house torn down and hauled away for a little over 6k, but the parish charges $2600 just to CUT THE EFFIN' GRASS??? With Clint going overseas, there isn't any time to fight it. Truth is I'd rather stab myself in the eye than fork over the money, but what other choice is there?? I'm tired of digging into the savings for stupid crap like this.

After much debating, we have decided to send both girls to summer camp at preschool. Yes, both. Valerie is already registered. Veronica can't register for another few weeks, and I'm hoping she gets in. I'm *very* nervous about Roni going off to school. I think going with Valerie at first will help her transition into going by herself in August. And I feel guilty, but I'm secretly thrilled to have two whole days a week to myself. It's a mere 9 weeks away. Maybe I can breathe then. I know I'll be busy going to the gym, doing housework, grocery shopping. Secretly I hope to paint my bathroom. Take a bubble bath. Play the piano. Read. You know, just maybe I can find a little piece of ME that's hidden somewhere.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Hello Spring

We've had some gorgeous spring weather. I took advantage of the sun to try and snap some decent pictures of the kids outside. Valerie cooperates fairly well. Veronica just will not sit still!!


















Wednesday, March 17, 2010

In honor of St. Paddy's Day

A couple of weeks ago we were driving home from school, and Valerie asked about St. Patrick's Day.

VAL: "When is Patrick's Day?"
ME: "It's St. Patrick's Day. March 17."
VAL: "St. Patrick's? I thought it was just Patrick..."
ME: "No, it's Saint Patrick."

(silence)

VERONICA: "When is Sponge Bob Day?"



True story.
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Better

Thankfully the last couple of days have been better. Happy Veronica equals a happy Momma! I really don't know why she cries so much. If it is learned or just her... I'm almost wondering if it has to do with her sleep. She's very restless some nights, so maybe she's just tired. I am hoping that starting school will help her. It will be something constructive for her to focus her energy on and hopefully curb the crabbiness!!

**

Yesterday we celebrated my Dad's 77th birthday. Hard to believe he is that old and hard to think of him as old. I guess we are lucky that he is in fairly good health and able to get around as well as he does. He actually got on the trampoline with the kids yesterday!! With my Mom gone so suddenly, I know we should celebrate every day we have with him and not just his birthday. My Dad came to town for the day and we went out for lunch, to the library, and spent the day playing with the kids. It was a beautiful day to play outside. I think he enjoyed it.



Saturday, March 13, 2010

Crying

Everybody knows Veronica cries. A lot. She has always been like that. When they left us alone to bond with her at the hospital, she cried the entire time. And it continues to this day.

Sure, there are moments when she's happy and sweet. And I just want to cuddle and hug her to pieces!!

But the crying!! Three years of hearing her cry almost every. single. day. is wearing on me. We keep saying she'll outgrow it, but when??

Some days everything sets her off. I have yet to discover her trigger, if there is one. Maybe she's tired? hungry? bored?

Today was one of them and she cried at least 30 times today. Not exaggerating. Real crying - tears and all. Her toy falls out of her hands, she sobs. She can't find her cup, she sobs. Valerie takes something from her, she shrieks and bursts into tears. She wakes during the night having meltdowns because her feet are cold. She wants a cup of water, or needs the bathroom. It's almost as if she's somehow learned that's how to ask for things - by crying.

She'll make up reasons to cry if she's really cranky. She can't walk. Her stuffed rabbits can't stand up. Her rabbits are thirsty. And Roni cries real tears.

You'd have to have nerves of steel to ignore her. I can for a little while, and some days I can push it aside. But day after day after day.... especially at times like now when Clint is away.... it starts to get to me. Tonight was pretty bad. Roni was tired, and crying over everything under the sun while in the tub. She was in total meltdown mode. I guess I reached the breaking point and I just lost it. I know she's just a little kid and all but the crying is really stressful at times.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Joy!

Is this not the face of pure joy??





Saturday was an awesome day all around. We hosted Veronica's birthday party at our home. The weather was PERFECT! I do believe a good time was had by all! I rented a pretty princess bounce house and the kids (and adults) thoroughly enjoyed it. We had lots of food and great company. The party started at 11:30 and it was 5:00 before everyone left! Fun! The kids spent most of the day outside while the parents visited. This is why I prefer having parties at our home. Sure there's the cleaning and all, but it's nice that everyone can stay as long as they'd like. We get the cake and presents out of the way and have the rest of the day to enjoy. I snapped well over 400 pictures and that is after I deleted most of the bad ones!!

On another note... I turned in Veronica's registration for preschool today. After much debating, we've decided that she'll go Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. All day. It makes me nervous because you know, she's just a baby and all. I know she'll adjust and benefit from it. I love the school. Valerie went two half days at age three and I felt like she missed out on a lot because she was only there a few hours. This also means that starting in August, I'll have three days a week kid-free. I have no idea what I'll do!

Here's a few pics from the party... enjoy! (and the cake I made for her!)











Friday, March 05, 2010

The Baby

When Veronica was born, she assumed the title "The Baby." The Baby is crying. The Baby is sleeping. Oh I have to get The Baby dressed first. The Baby this, The Baby that. She always seemed so tiny and helpless.

Today, The Baby is three years old. Three!! And I still find myself referring to her as The Baby. I don't usually say it out loud, because as she puts it, "I'm not widdle, I BIG!!" She doesn't like being called a baby.

Valerie has always seemed much older to me than she is. At three, she seemed beyond her years. She seemed capable of almost anything!! A big girl; a Big Sister! Now Veronica is three, and in my eyes is still a baby. She's the little one. I find myself saying she can't do that ~ she's just a baby!! I know my perception is skewed. Veronica just never seems big enough or old enough for this big girl stuff. I still see her as little and helpless. She was just born, right?? Even though she's now a big girl. I wonder if I'll always feel that way. Even when she's 16.

She is and will always be my baby girl.

Happy Birthday, my sweet Veronica!