vain[veyn] Show IPA
adjective, vain·er, vain·est.
excessively proud of or concerned about one's ownappearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited: a vaindandy.
I wouldn't say I am vain. Although I do fuss a bit over my appearance, I am NOT high maintenance. I have not and I refuse, however, to let myself go. Some things have changed, I no longer polish my nails and so what if my eyebrows are falling out (thyroid disease.) The gray hairs don't bother me - much. Stay At Home Mommy mode is ok but I refuse to give in.
I admit I am a bit obsessed with going to the gym. I have let it slide a bit this summer. When the girls are in school, I go almost every day. I do my best to schedule things around gym time. I've skipped lunches and playdates because I HAVE to be at the gym. I like it. I like my friends there. I like the results I see in the mirror. (Is that vain?) Most days I wear a little make up and attempt to fix my hair. (barefaced to the gym does not count!!)
It took me a while to get to this point. I decided to change something that I could not change on my own. It would not change, no matter how hard I tried. No matter my size or weight, it was always there to some extent. No matter how much I exercised or how well my diet was, it stayed the same. I've been working at it faithfully for 15 years. So I decided to force the change.
A few days ago I did something somewhat drastic for me, and only me. I did months of research and thought about it for even longer.
Now I do feel a bit - vain - for lack of a better word. I admit it was superficial and expensive and completely unnecessary. But something that has bothered me nearly my entire life is gone. I'm badly bruised, sore, and swollen. Will it be worth it in the end? I believe so.
Now it's time to rest and heal. And soon I'll be back at the gym. Forty and fit is my goal.