Saturday, October 21, 2006

Just having one of those days....

I am not feeling well today. I'm just.... exhausted. My body is tired. My mind is tired. Valerie is being so whiney and clingy. Plain old CRANKY. She hasn't been sleeping as good as she normally does. A few nights ago she was wide awake from 1am - 4am wanting to play!! Last night she whined and cried so much, even after we put her in bed with us. I'm wondering if she has teeth working their way out. Molars are pretty difficult. I am just getting so frustrated with the constant whining though. I hate that I get mad at her, but it's driving me up the wall. I know it's not her fault. She's just a little girl. Tonight I was thinking about how it has been so long since I have done anything for myself. I need a break. It's been impossible to do anything being so sick. I have no energy to do anything. I'm already dreading the two weeks Clint will be in Canada. I can only imagine how tough it will be when I'll have TWO little ones to care for and Clint is away on a trip. I keep thinking about all the things we need to do before the baby comes. I feel so overwhelmed by everything. How will we ever get it all done... Valerie loves babies, but how will she react to having one in our house? Will she be jealous? I hate that I may be taking attention away from her. I know our alone mommy-daughter time together is limited, and I want to enjoy every sweet moment with her. Just the two of us. I feel so guilty for being so sick and not spending time with her as I should. I know things will be FINE in the end. People do this all the time! I guess part of it is that I'm an only child, so I don't know what it is like to have a sibling.

1 comment:

nicole said...

Hang in there they say it gets better. My dd too is a cranky one. That is one reason I agreed to move overseas. At least her dad will be home every night and nursery school 3 days a week paid for. I live very close to family and friends now and have no help at all. They are all pissed we are leaving but I feel it's the only way for me to stay sane.