I think BOTH girls are getting sick.

*sigh*

And I'll probably be next.

Just in time for our big 4th of July bash.

Lovely.

pics!

A sad goodbye....

Sadly, the time we all knew was coming arrived. Poor Kita has just been getting worse and worse over the past several months. She was hobbling around the yard, but even that had slowed down. Mostly she just laid there. She started peeing and pooping just wherever she happened to be. I knew something was really wrong then, as dogs just do not do that. She was such a filthy, stinky, mess. She stopped eating almost completely. Once a healthy chunky dog.... now down to skin and bones. It was pitiful seeing her day after day in the yard looking so sad. Yesterday she couldn't walk at all. Clint gave her THREE pain pills.... and there was no change. She was pulling herself around with her front paws and her back legs were just flopping around. Last week he had discovered a huge mass on her backside. Our guess is the arthritis was causing her leg / hip to twist and buckle. That had to be causing her pain. So, Clint made the very difficult decision it was time to put her out of misery. *sigh* We all know I wasn't crazy about the dog, but I'm still really sad to see her go. I will miss her. She was a member of our family. And she really was a good, sweet, gentle, dog. It was the humane thing to do. No sense in keeping a poor animal alive suffering when her medical problems would just get worse and worse. By rottweiler standards, she was very old. Clint took it pretty hard. It's just so heartbreaking to say goodbye to an animal you've loved and raised from a puppy. The unconditional love of a pet can not be replaced. He is having her cremated, and we'll burry her ashes in the back yard in "her" spot.

R.I.P - Nikita. November 1998 - June 2007.

Couple of pics from the weekend

What a mess. :D

Val and Daddy.
"Ronica" in a gorgeous dress a friend gave us.

Last minute Father's Day cake.

I went with Clint to physical therapy Friday so I could see what he does and help him exercise his arm at home. One of the guys there said he thought maybe I was Clint's daughter because I looked 20 years younger than Clint. Of course, it was nice to hear I look "young", but AS IF. I am NOT that naive. LOL! There's no way I look 20. Unless he meant Clint looked 50 and I looked 30... !!! Haha.


Call me selfish if you want. I'll even call me selfish. I am so tired of being the one who gives up the most. And having no choice. Yes, I volunteered for this Motherhood job, but does it also mean I can't be my own person too? Little things really irritate me. Like Clint spending two or three hours every night in the bathroom. I can't do that. I'm lucky to squeeze in a 15 minute shower - alone. I was so mad at him yesterday. The plan was to go to my parents' house and go out for a nice Father's Day dinner - early to beat the crowd. I had gotten up no less than five times Saturday night with the kids. Then Veronica was up at 5am and would not go back to sleep, so at 6am I gave up and got up. Made coffee, cooked breakfast. Put clothes to wash. Picked up some dishes. Clint got up and had to to on a dog search because she was missing (another story.) Valerie got up. I changed her. Tried to feed her. Fed Veronica, changed her. Fixed Valerie something else. Packed Valerie an overnight bag - clothes, diapers, snacks. Washed bottles. Packed Veronica's diaper bag - diapers, clothes, formula. Sat with Val at the table while she ate yogurt. Changed diapers - again. Put clothes on Veronica. Fed Veronica. Put clothes on Val. Doctored up a cut on her foot before putting socks and shoes on. Plus got myself dressed - hair, makeup, clothes. What was Clint doing?? Sitting on the couch reading the paper. Then he got himself dressed and sat on the couch. I haven't read the paper in days. What would happen if I just sat on the couch instead of trying to get us ready? Yeah, his arm is hurt but he can still put diapers in the bags or fix sippy cups. It doesn't matter if I've been up all night. or if I'm depressed. Or sick. I NEVER have the choice to just sit and do nothing. He does this every single holiday. We were supposed to be at my mom's for 10. We did not leave home until after 11:00. Then he had the nerve to ask me "are we ready to go yet?" I don't think it's fair that he has the choice to do whatever he wants when that is not an option for me. They are his kids too.

Anyway... the dog isn't doing so well. She looks really bad. I don't think she'll be around much longer.

We joined the YMCA last week. I went this morning for the first time. I wanted to rejoin Body Elite, but Clint talked me into the Y. I don't like the Y at all. I have no desire to go back. It's dingy feeling. The weight machines are ancient, torn, rusty. It's cluttered. We only joined for 3 months. I'm almost tempted to just call it a loss and get a Body Elite membership for myself.

My oldest child embarrased the crap out of me today at Wal-Mart. I took a short cut through lingerie to get to the main aisle. Valerie starts chattering "bra, momma! look, bra!" I just said "mmm hmmm, yeah, that's right... those are bras." Then all of a sudden rather loudly she exclaims, "SEE MOMMA'S BRA!!" and grabs the bottom of my t-shirt and tries to pull it UP! I quickly said "NO!" and she kept demanding, "see momma's bra!!" and doing her darndest to raise up my shirt!!!! Luckily there weren't many people around, but still!! I was so embarrassed.

News!!

I'm SO excited!!

I'm gonna be a NANNY!

Something I never ever thought would happen to me being that I'm an only child. It seems it's a role traditionally asked of siblings. Our dear friends Jeff and Angel asked me to be godmother to their son. This was so unexpected! I can't wait for little Preston to get here so Nanny can spoil him! He'll be just like the son I'll never have.

****

In other news, Clint is doing well. The first few days were rough and he was in a lot of pain, but he is slowly getting better. He is healing, but it will be a long time before he has full use of his arm again.

I am completly exhausted. And it will be weeks before Clint is able to help out with the kids again.

Thanks to all the family and friends who checked in today. Clint had shoulder surgery to repair his torn rotator cuff this morning. What an exhausting stressful day. We had to be at the hospital for 5am. Veronica woke up for a bottle at 1:00am, and I never got back to sleep. Clint did fairly well (I guess) considering it was a major surgery. We got home this afternoon. Honestly, at first I thought maybe he should have stayed overnight. He looked bad to me, but then I'm not used to seeing him that way. It's usually me who is feeling bad! The anesthesia made him really sick. Even Phenergan didn't help very much. So far, his pain isn't bad. He was given a nerve block, but once that wears off they told me to expect a rough, painful night. Clint has a high pain tolerance, so we'll see. I made him take his meds just in case, so he should sleep good tonight. He just got up to eat supper and is moving around some since the nausea has passed. It's still going to be a long, slow recovery. A month in a sling... and several months of therapy afterwards.

Why do people pretend to be interested... to care... when they do not?

The time has come....

It's time. Valerie is 2-1/2 and still stuck on the pacifier. Mostly she uses it to sleep. But there are days when she cries for it ALL the time. It's a comfort thing, a habit. She calls it a "nigh nigh", we guess from telling her it was time to go night night. It's also her "rainbow nigh nigh" because it's two colors - she loves rainbow anything. One day last week I had enough. She was whining "want Valerie rainbow nigh nigh!" over and over and over. I told her she was going in time out, put her in bed, put the rail up, and closed her door. She screamed and screamed for 50 minutes. Not for her nigh nigh, but screeching "lay down momma and daddy's bed!" She cried herself to sleep. So, I thought hmmm so she CAN sleep with out the paci. The next day, I decided no paci during the day ~ only at night. At nap time, she cried for 20 mins. then went to sleep. The next day, she cried for 5 mins. Yesterday, she cried a bit longer but slept for two solid hours!!

SO, last night we decided to give it a try. We kept Val occupied and about 9:00 she started "want rainbow nigh nigh." I ignored her and distracted her. Eventually she had a BIG meltdown. I put her in our bed, and grabbed a cheap paci from the dollar store we had laying around. I snipped a hole in the tip so that it would be different and less appealing. She popped it in her mouth, took it out, then giggled... "pink nigh nigh." Held it in her hand, rolled over and slept almost all night long!! At 5:30 she started calling for her rainbow nigh nigh, but we calmed her down and she went back to sleep. So for the first time in her life, she slept with out her beloved pacifier.

Hopefully I can stick to it... and hopefully this is the beginning of the end of the paci!!!

So, I don't know about this hair anymore. It's insanely curly. I have no idea where these curls came from. I've had straight, flat hair all of my life. I need to dig up some old pictures to post a comparison. Waaaay back in the 80's when big poofy feathered hair was "in", my hair would not do that. It was too straight to hold a curl. But, oddly over the past 5 years or so it has grown in curly. Why would it change... I don't know!! Now that it's short, it's SUPER curly. My mom wanted to know if I curled it. Um no, I just air dried it. I don't have the time to straighten it every day, so I don't know what to do with it.

Before and After!

Not the best pictures...

Here's the before again:

And After!

I will never ever get it this straight myself!!!