Friday, June 15, 2007

I went with Clint to physical therapy Friday so I could see what he does and help him exercise his arm at home. One of the guys there said he thought maybe I was Clint's daughter because I looked 20 years younger than Clint. Of course, it was nice to hear I look "young", but AS IF. I am NOT that naive. LOL! There's no way I look 20. Unless he meant Clint looked 50 and I looked 30... !!! Haha.

Call me selfish if you want. I'll even call me selfish. I am so tired of being the one who gives up the most. And having no choice. Yes, I volunteered for this Motherhood job, but does it also mean I can't be my own person too? Little things really irritate me. Like Clint spending two or three hours every night in the bathroom. I can't do that. I'm lucky to squeeze in a 15 minute shower - alone. I was so mad at him yesterday. The plan was to go to my parents' house and go out for a nice Father's Day dinner - early to beat the crowd. I had gotten up no less than five times Saturday night with the kids. Then Veronica was up at 5am and would not go back to sleep, so at 6am I gave up and got up. Made coffee, cooked breakfast. Put clothes to wash. Picked up some dishes. Clint got up and had to to on a dog search because she was missing (another story.) Valerie got up. I changed her. Tried to feed her. Fed Veronica, changed her. Fixed Valerie something else. Packed Valerie an overnight bag - clothes, diapers, snacks. Washed bottles. Packed Veronica's diaper bag - diapers, clothes, formula. Sat with Val at the table while she ate yogurt. Changed diapers - again. Put clothes on Veronica. Fed Veronica. Put clothes on Val. Doctored up a cut on her foot before putting socks and shoes on. Plus got myself dressed - hair, makeup, clothes. What was Clint doing?? Sitting on the couch reading the paper. Then he got himself dressed and sat on the couch. I haven't read the paper in days. What would happen if I just sat on the couch instead of trying to get us ready? Yeah, his arm is hurt but he can still put diapers in the bags or fix sippy cups. It doesn't matter if I've been up all night. or if I'm depressed. Or sick. I NEVER have the choice to just sit and do nothing. He does this every single holiday. We were supposed to be at my mom's for 10. We did not leave home until after 11:00. Then he had the nerve to ask me "are we ready to go yet?" I don't think it's fair that he has the choice to do whatever he wants when that is not an option for me. They are his kids too.

Anyway... the dog isn't doing so well. She looks really bad. I don't think she'll be around much longer.

We joined the YMCA last week. I went this morning for the first time. I wanted to rejoin Body Elite, but Clint talked me into the Y. I don't like the Y at all. I have no desire to go back. It's dingy feeling. The weight machines are ancient, torn, rusty. It's cluttered. We only joined for 3 months. I'm almost tempted to just call it a loss and get a Body Elite membership for myself.

1 comment:

  1. If you guys can afford it, join Body Elite as compensation for all you do. They say mtherhood is a thankless job; I just thank my lucky stars that Kevin helps around the house and being that he is an early childhood teacher will be the one teaching me. My life will change so much, but for now I'm trying to squeeze in all the me time that I can.