Quiet

Yes, it has been quiet around here. Or rather I have been quiet. During the day I think of all these great topics that I could/should blog about. By the time I get around to having a moment to myself, I'm tired. Or I don't want to think. Or I changed my mind. When Clint is gone, I'm exhausted and drained from occupying the kids, cleaning, and cooking and just want to relax! When Clint is home, I'm exhausted and drained from catching up around the house, cleaning, and cooking and I just want to relax!!!

So here's some random thoughts for y'all:

* I started logging my time at the gym. In the past month I have done 12 hours cardio. Plus weights on most days. Yikes. 45 minutes of cardio a pop, which is 4-5 days a week. Has the scale budged? No.

* Clint was approached about a job - sort of. In town! We were excited and hopeful and giddy at the prospect of a local job!! The guy appeared so interested and eager to talk business with Clint. Lunch with the CEO was mentioned. Then it just fizzled to nothing. Clint initiated contact a few times. Called/emailed when the guy said to call, but never could reach him. Turns out he's one of those that checks email once a week. Checks voice mail once a week. Doesn't return phone calls. Last time they spoke (at the gym), they were to have lunch on Wednesday. Exciting! But.... it never happened. Never heard from him. Today we saw the guy and all he did was wave. Hmm. No clue what changed his tune....

* Clint's job is going to shift again. There's talk of moving him into yet another department. No more 7/7. But he'd be based out of Lafayette. Which means at some point, we'd have to move. I don't want to.

* We've been working on our flowerbeds. It's been 2 years since we mulched and pulled weeds. Yeah, it was bad. But it's getting better.

* Got out the kids' swimsuits and have already set up the kiddie pool for them. 80 degrees is warm enough for water play!!

* Had our first snowballs of the summer over the weekend. Veronica's first snowball ever.

* We bought new patio furniture!! The set we have was awful. Someone gave it to us a few years ago. I looked at it and thought WHY do we still have this junk?? We deserve something nice to sit on. And now we have it!

* Veronica is turning into a chatter box! It's quite funny. She loves the telephone. She's had lengthy conversations with my Dad and Clint on the phone. If only we could understand everything she says!!

* Veronica's catch phrase is "I love ____." We see turtles on the side of the road and she immediately says, "I looove turtles." or whatever it is. Ha.

* Exciting things happening for Valerie this week. School pictures on Thursday! Dance pictures on Saturday!! Can't wait. Dance recital is SOON also!

* Valerie has a new favorite book: The Jellybeans and the Big Dance! She picked it out at the book fair at school and even sleeps with it.

* Am I on the outside looking in? I hear about lunches, play dates, dinners, visits, parties, etc. Yet we find out about them after the fact.

* I wish somebody would listen and hear me. I feel .... invisible.

* Ants have invaded my pantry. Go away!

* Yesterday I had a ME day. I spent a good 6 hours store hopping and shopping!

* We now have an ice cream maker. Can't wait to share it. I have a few recipes to try. Anybody have a good one to share??

Ah, silence.



The kids are finally in bed. Peace and quiet at last! I should be in bed too. But this is the only time I have to steal a few moments to myself.

The quiet is nice sometimes. Calming. I only hear the dishwasher and the jingle of the cat's collar.
It's also lonely. I almost miss the chaos of the kids running around. I hate this schedule Clint is on. I have doubts about myself being able to do this long term. Two kids going non stop all day long and just me. I've been keeping up with the housework, but it takes a lot of effort to stay on top of things.

It also makes me sad. I sometimes wonder if it will ever go away. If it will ever truly get better. I don't even know where to start. I wish I could smile... and mean it.

Happy Easter!

We had a nice, quiet Easter at home. My Dad came Saturday for a picnic in the park and came back again on Sunday. Clint barbecued and we all ate too much dinner and WAY too much candy. WAY too much candy!!! Valerie and Veronica were thrilled with their baskets from the Easter Bunny. All in all it was a nice holiday. Just.... different. And leaves me a little sad.

Easter Saturday

It was Easter Saturday. I don't remember the year. I must have been in high school or maybe right out of high school. For some reason, we decided to go to Lafayette to shop. Seems odd to me now that we went somewhere Easter weekend, so maybe there was a purpose I have forgotten. One of our usual stops was The Real Superstore (some of you know what I'm talking about.) It was a HUGE yellow warehouse type grocery store. How we loved going there!!! It has long since closed down. Anyway, it was dark when we finally pulled up in the parking lot. You had to put a quarter in a slot to get a shopping cart, and when you returned your cart you got your quarter back. Lo and behold when we walked in the store, ALL the Easter candy was half price already. And did they have tons of it. My Mom was always big on shopping the day after any holiday for those half price sales. Usually the Monday after Easter she was out as early as possible, but more often than not most of the *good* candy was gone. Anyway, we bought something ridiculous like $100 of candy. In reality it was $200 since it was half price. Yikes! Literally it filled up a garbage bag plus some. I have no idea why we bought so much. We laughed and laughed about how crazy we must have looked buying up all that candy. It was just so cheap that we couldn't pass it up! Can't say no to a bargain! We had Easter candy through the 4th of July. Which really wasn't that unusual for us. My Mom always went overboard at Easter since it was the only time of year she could get such delicious candy! She always had a stash of Gold Brick Eggs and Heavenly Hash it seems. My Mom could eat all that candy and never gain any weight.

Happy Easter, everyone.

What A Day!

Today was quite an ordeal.

I took the Girls to the annual Easter Egg hunt sponsored by the City of Morgan City in the park. Last year it was fantastic! I was all set for a great day with my girls!! I should have known the odds were against me! The kids are divided by ages, so Valerie wanted my Dad to go with her and I stayed with Veronica. It took forever for them to get started. The guy on the mic started introducing people - who cares?! Finally the mayor took over and said GO! And Roni went - grabbing candy by the handfull and tossing it in her basket. When she was done I saw a tearful Valerie with Poppi coming my way. Val had spied a pink egg and some little boy snatched it from right in front of her. Valerie stood there and cried and cried and got NO eggs or candy. Not a single thing!! I don't know why my Dad didn't help her. She cried and cried about that pink egg for the rest of the morning.

We headed over for the basket contest hoping to get lucky again. Last year there were only 3-4 baskets. There must have been 20 this year! I think one of the schools decorated baskets there were so many. Of course we didn't win and Valerie was still crying over her pink egg! Ugh!

I let them play for a while in the park, and then we went to Mc Donald's for lunch. We ate and then the kids played for a while. Before I knew it, Veronica had climbed to the very top of the play area. She stayed up there for a while following Valerie and another little girl. And you know what's next.... Roni started screaming. And screaming. And SCREAMING. I tried to get Valerie to help her, but she wouldn't. So yes, I had to haul my butt up there to get her down. I get to the top and she isn't stuck. She's screaming MAD because she wanted to climb higher but couldn't get her footing. So I had to crawl though one of those tunnels (lovely) and literally drag Veronica kicking and screaming, inch by inch back down. She wanted back in the tunnel by all means and was not happy that Mommy was taking her out. Then Valerie started crying because we were leaving. We had to drag both kids screaming and crying out to the parking lot. Let me say we caused quite a scene in Mc Donald's!! Thank goodness we don't go there often. Don't think we'll be trying that again any time soon!

Out of curiosity

So I read this post online about a grandma who potty trained her granddaughter. She taught the girl to clean her bottom with wet toilet paper. Flush, dip the toilet paper in the toilet bowl, then wipe. At school. WHO in their right mind does this??

Her reasoning is that the kids don't wash their hands before eating. So if their bottoms aren't clean, they scratch, and therefore have dirty hands. So her solution is to have the little girl dip TP in the toilet? a public toilet? I know toilets aren't the dirtiest thing in a restroom, but why on earth would you want to rub bacteria ridden toilet water on your butt? Plus think of all the harsh chemicals they are cleaned with... do you want that in such a delicate area?

She is arguing that she has done her research and it is fine as long as you flush first. I told her she was out of her mind. Please don't tell me it's just me. PLEASE don't tell me any of you actually DO this?????!

A visitor

Friday was another beautiful day, so after running errands all morning, we spent the afternoon out in the yard. We were in the front yard and I noticed a gray bumpy 'ball' in the flowerbed. I moved in a little closer to see what in the heck it was and I saw that it had a tail....

Ack. Armadillo. Ugly things they are....

I know they are generally not harmless, but I didn't want the kids to bother it. I sneaked back to check on it a few times. It wasn't moving. I rustled the irises a few times. Tossed an empty bottle against the wall. I wondered if it was alive or dead, but then I saw it jump a bit. He just wasn't budging.

When it was almost time to go inside for the day, I told the kids there was an animal in the flowerbed if they wanted to see it. Valerie was all for it and Veronica just followed along of course. Valerie kept talking to it. "Hi Armadillo! Come out! I want to see you walk!" I shook the bushes a bit more and he scooted out a little bit. Just enough to really see him. The kids couldn't see it, but I noticed he was more than a bit bloody on the side facing the wall. Poor thing was trembling. Well, that explains why he was camped out in my flowerbed!! Just what I needed... a dying armadillo in my yard with no way of removing it because I sure as hell wasn't going ne
ar it!!

I felt bad for it so I tossed it a hand full of cat food. I told Valerie to leave it alone because it was sick and might go to armadillo heaven. Val started whining, "But I will miss that armadillo! I love him!" Awww.

In the morning, thankfully he was gone. I guess he slunk off during the night, so maybe he wasn't as injured as he appeared. Which is fine by me!! I just hope he doesn't come back!

I try not to think about it, but it still comes creeping back into my thoughts. I know I am the only one who remembers, and that is okay. Today marks 8 months that my Mom died. I still don't want to believe it. Yet I can't believe it's been that long already either. I can't believe I haven't heard her voice in all this time. I dream about her often. At first, my dreams were always about her being sick. Lately she has been her normal, happy, self in my dreamland. Of course when I wake up there is the pang in my chest as I remember that she is gone. Really gone.

with out you, forever sad

though joy still finds me

there is always the sorrow

of not sharing it with you