Sunday, November 01, 2009


I went to the dollar store today and saw that all of the Christmas things are out. It actually made me kind of happy and excited to see it. I love the lights, the decorations, and the rows of gift sets. I always have. Even though much of it is useless stuff, it always feels magical and even more so now with the kids. I really hope that means this year will be easier for me. Last year was hard. So very hard.

I won't lie ~ I cried on Halloween. Silly Halloween. It had been a long time since I had broken down, but all the memories of years past got to me. Seeing my girls so excited about trick-or-treating reminded me of how exciting it was when I was little. My Mom usually took me trick-or-treating and my Dad stayed home to give out candy. My Mom made costumes for me many times. For the life of me I can't recall anything other than a witch's dress. I just know there were others. I wish she were here to make my girls a costume too.

Seeing the Christmas stuff made me smile inside though, so I hope that is a sign of happier times to come. I have already started Christmas shopping, and hope to be finished around Thanksgiving. I like to window shop though just to look at all the pretty things. My Mom and I used to spend hours walking around malls and never bought a thing. I suppose my girls and I will do the same when they are older!! I know there are tough moments ahead, but over all I am looking forward to the holidays with my girls. Thanksgiving... Valerie's birthday... Christmas... all happy times to create happy memories!!

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