Shattered

That's the only way to put it.

shattered.

I haven't felt this sad in a long, long while.

I covertly made arrangement for the kids to sleep elsewhere last night so that Clint and I could have a date night.  Date nights do not happen often around here, and I was excited about going out to celebrate the big 41 with my husband.  No kids.  No curfew.  No rushing back to a sitter.  A restaurant that didn't involve chicken and fries, pizza, or ketchup.  Just us for an entire night.  Yay!!

Saturday came and went and we did nothing.  I waited all day long for some kind of a hint, comment, anything....   Clint basically ignored me all day long.  He never mentioned going out.  He never asked where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do.  At supper time, there was nothing to eat since I thought we were going out to dinner.   I made a quick trip to the corner store and came home to cook burgers and fries.  Everyone ate. I showered and got dressed.  Clint did nothing.  Said nothing.

So I left.  I was dressed and ready to go somewhere... so I did.

I came home a few hours later to find the kids had gone to sleep at their friend's house anyway.  Clint was laying in bed.  Not showered.  Not dressed.  Nothing.

A completely wasted kid free night.  A wasted birthday celebration.

Last year, he forgot.  I guess I just thought this year would be different.  I thought that this year he'd make a little effort.   I was wrong.  This year he remembered, but just chose not to do or say anything.

I just wanted a night out, to spend time with each other.  Is that really asking too much?