Sunday, December 14, 2014

One month post thyroidectomy

One month ago today was my surgery.

My scar....   looks pretty good I think.  It's not as red as it was and isn't as tender to the touch.  I have noticed people staring at me though and it takes me a bit to remember why.  Maybe I should wear scarves more often.  I have been putting Merderma on it during the day and alternating Bio Oil and coconut oil at night.  My surgeon purposely followed a crease ( no, it's not a wrinkle!!) in my neck so that eventually it will not be visible at all.  I hope so.

I feel.....   Oh, that is a tough one.  I don't feel bad but I don't quite feel myself either.  The dizziness comes and goes.  I've even tried taking Bonine because that is exactly how I feel --  like I have been on a plane for hours and have motion sickness/dizziness. On a good day, one moment I feel like I can do anything and the next I need a nap.  The anxiety is bad.  It seems to be common from what I've read.  I wake up from a dead sleep in a panic and I don't know why. The insomnia isn't fun either.  So tired, yet can't sleep with out meds or I don't sleep soundly.   I am doing most of my normal routine (gym, errands, housework, etc.) but often I don't feel like I can do it.  I push through it and do it anyway.  I wonder if I'm flipping between hypo and hyper...?  I certainly feel like I have hyper symptoms - the anxiety is one, along with being hungry all the time, not sleeping well....   On the flip side, I'm cold and tired some days also.  Supposedly it takes six weeks for your body to use up all stored thyroid hormones, so the big crash (or whatever) is right around the corner.  For now, I'm just sticking with my 150mcg of Synthroid and hoping for the best.  My friend pointed out that it takes longer to heal inside than it does outside.  Even though my incision looks good, inside it's still healing.  Again, I don't feel bad at all... but I don't exactly feel good either.  This hormone roller coaster isn't fun.  (Jane! Get me off this crazy thing!)

I think....  My butterfly was cut out, so I feel the need to replace it.  I'm considering a tattoo on my forearm.  A pretty butterfly, of course.  It's to decide exactly what I want, what colors, and how big.  I'm so indecisive and I'd hate to pick something that I can't stand later on.  For now, I'll keep looking until I find something that screams "THIS IS IT."

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